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Shaadi mein behtar intikhaab

Umar Asari

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#1
Shaadi mein behtar intikhaab

Prepared By: Umar Asari

Hum mein kon aisa hoga hai jise apne shareek e hayaat ke intikhaab mein mushkil ka saamna na karna padta ho? Dono parties ki yahi koshish hoti hai ke woh ek mukammal aur har lihaaz se behtar life partner ka intikhaab karen jo ke zahir hai is duniya mein na-mumkin hai. Is ki wajah yeh hai ke duniya mein aisa koi naujawan ladka ya ladki nahi hai jis mein woh tamam sifaat paayi jaati hon jise woh apne shareek e hayaat mein talaash kar raha hai lekin hota yeh hai ke kuch logon mein kuch sifaat ziyadah hoti hain aur kuch mein kam. Is silsile mein hamaare Nabi ﷺ ne ek aisa usool muqarrar farmaya hai jo saare masail ka hal hai.
Aap ﷺ ne farmaya:
تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا، وَلِحَسَبِهَا، وَجَمَالِهَا، وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ​
Tarjumah: Aurat se nikah chaar cheezon ki bunyaad par kiya jaata hai us ke maal ki wajah se aur us ke khaandaani sharaf ki wajah se aur us ki khoosoorti ki wajah se aur us ke deen ki wajah se aur tu deendaar aurat se nikah kar ke kaamyaabi haasil kar, agar aisa na kare to tere haathon ko mitti lagegi (yani akheer mein tujh ko nadaamat hogi).
(Sahih Bukhari: 5090)

Is Hadees mein Nabi ﷺ ne yeh haqeeqat waazeh farma di ke aam taur se log zahiri umoor ki taraf jaate hain jaise maal o daulat waghera woh na mile to phir bada khandan, woh bhi na mile to phir kam se kam ladki haseen o jameel aur khoobsoorat ho aur yeh ek badi sangeen ghalati hai, shadi ki gharz se ladkiyon ko dekhne waale mardon ko chahiye ke sab se pehle ladki ka deen dekhen.

Neez aurton aur un ke sarparaston ko naseehat karte huwe Nabi ﷺ farmaya:
إِذَا خَطَبَ إِلَيْكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ، وَخُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ، إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوا تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ، وَفَسَادٌ عَرِيضٌ​
Tarjumah: Jab tumhein koi aisa shakhs shadi ka paigham de, jis ki deendaari aur akhlaq se tumhein itminan ho to us se shadi kar do. Agar aisa nahi karoge to zameen mein fitna aur fasaad e azeem barpaa hoga.
(Sunan Tirmizi: 1084, Allama Albani Rahimahullah ne Hasan kaha hai)

Is Hadees se pata chala ke deen o akhlaaq lazim o malzoom hain, agar un mein se ek bhi doosre se alag ho jaaye to shaadi shuda zindagi ki khushiyan pheeki pad jaati hain.

Husn e intikhaab ka ek pehlu yeh bhi hai ke mard jis ladki se shadi kar raha ho us ki masroofiyaat ke baare mein maloom kar le. Kuch logon ka haal yeh hota hai ke baat fix karte waqt ladki ke liye mukhtalif shartein laga dete hain jaise ke meri biwi doctor honi chahiye, ya job waali honi chahiye aur yeh sharaait lagaate waqt log bhool jaate hain un par bhi iska asar hota hai. Misaal ke taur par ek doctor ka kaam intihaayi mushkil hota hai aur us ka sara waqt le leta hai aur doctor aurat ko aise shauhar ki zaroorat hoti hai jo us ke us kaam aur masroofiyat par sabr kare aur ghar ke kaam kaaj mein us ki madad kare.
Isi tarah se biwi ko bhi shauhar ka intikhaab karte waqt is baat ko samajhna chahiye. Kuch aurtain shadi ke waqt shauhar ke liye yeh shart rakhti hain ke woh ameer ho aur woh yeh bhool jaati hain ke ameer shauhar aam taur se ek masroof aadmi hota hai jo aksar safar mein rehta hai aur mukhtalif meetings mein shirkat karta rehta hai. Is liye behtar yahi hai ke ek doosre ki masroofiyat ke baare mein maloomat haasil kar len.
 

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